deadliest deadline

meandering thoughts on the beat

Monday, August 28, 2006

adjustments

As my wife said in her own blog, it's been more than a week since we have been discharged from the hospital. Now is the real test, I think. No more nurses, no more nursery to take care of the little one. It's all up to us. I will be eternally grateful to my in-laws for taking us in for the meantime. There is nothing like an extra pair of hands and their rich experience in child-rearing. It's a longer drive to Antipolo, but the surroundings are quiet and soothing. It helps calm my oftentimes frantic mind. The superb cooking of my mother-in-law also soothes my hungry tummy. I have to say its been particularly difficult for M. All the sleepless nights compounded by the difficult but healthier decision to breastfeed. Almost overnight, the both of us have turned into "experts" in breastfeeding. Thankfully, little Anton seems to have gotten the hang of it. I must say that I am beginning to be somewhat proficient in putting him to sleep. But I rue the fact that most of the time, I feel a wee bit helpless and I have difficulty getting up early in the morning to try to put Anton to sleep when M. is too tired. I have never admired anyone more than I do my wife now with the difficult job she is undertaking. I cannot imagine other husbands who would leave the difficult job of child-rearing to their wives during the day, and abuse and physically beat them at night. There must be a corner of hell reserved for heartless ogres like them. Now the problem are the various ailments that usually hang around newborns. Nasal congestion, colic crying bouts, body temperatures, etc. Hoepfully, we can stay cool and above all of these. But truly, nothing makes me happier right now than staring at my little one while he is staring at me in return. Hopefully, this indicates to me that we are connecting somehow. For me, he is the repository of everything that is beautiful about this world (and to think there was a time when I didn't find much in this world I can call "beautiful"). And I have never loved M. more than I do now. There are the hardships, but there are the joys. Joys never felt before and that are just completely beyond words. And the good part is, there is more joy to come. What did I do to deserve all of this?

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